The Diary Of Lily Evans: The Confusing Confessions
by pupparoux
Summary: Lily Evans recieved a diary and on a whim of bordem started to write in it. But, there's a twist...
1. Chapter One: In Which Lily Admits a Star

**Well Hello there readers! I hope you like this new story of mine! I think it's kind of neat. And I know the whole Diary thing has been done before…but mine has a twist, a twist that I have not yet come across. You'll see in later chapters. **

**So I just want to say I own nothing…well, nothing that has to do with Harry Potter. And I want to thank my good friend and beta-er VegaVarekai. **

_**To Vegs: thanks!**_

**Chapter One: In Which Lily Admits A Startling Truth To Her Diary**

**July 3, 1978**

**My House **

**My Room**

**10:35 am**

Well hello there dearest diary.

Wow, that sentence was lame. I never thought that I would ever be one of those girls who would start off an entry with 'dearest diary'. Oh no! What have I become!

I think I'm going to put you down for a minute to regain my intelligence…maybe wash my hands…and burn my bra in rebellion of the man made tyranny where women are supposed to be sweet and wait on them hand and foot! TAKE THAT!

**July 3, 1978**

**My House  
My room**

**10:40 am**

Ok, I think the moment has passed.

Well, here I am, sitting in my lovely room, surrounded by my comforter and I'm…well if you must know, I'm bored.

I have nothing to do. My friends are all on holiday in exciting places like Italy and America; my parents are fawning over my sister who's getting married to this horrid brute of a man.

Why is he a horrid brute you ask? Well, other than it being a fantastic literary bashing of him, it also explains him perfectly. How so, you ask. Can it be that my author is simply teasing someone she isn't particularly fond of? Well, judge that for yourself.

I came home from grocery shopping the other day and I said hello to him. (he was sitting on his arse in the living room watching the telly) and what does he do? How did he respond?

Oh wait…he didn't.

I mean, if you were nice to someone, you would expect him or her to be at least civil to you, right? A hello in return, a nod…a grunt? Even he is capable of a grunt. That is at the very least to be expected! But oh no. I suspect Petty told him about my school. Hogwarts.

Ah well.

Well, let me see, what can I do to occupy my time? I know, dearest diary of mine, how about you and I get better acquainted?

Yes, I find that a good, solid, base is important in a strong relationship, such as ours.

Well, you came into my procession in my third year at Hogwarts; Potter gave you to me. Oh! You know him. Well you would, as he told me he'd been carrying you around in his pocket for three years.

Oh the horrors you must endured. You poor thing. Well, if you are anything like me, dearest diary, you would have put it all behind you. And look on the bright side; you're with me now.

Yes, I thought that would cheer you up.

IS there anything you would like to ask me?

OH yes…my love life? Oh there have been a few memorable boys...

Hmmm...let me see, where to begin.

There was Peter, in my second year. Sweet Peter, one of Potter's friends. Small, timid, and cute. He was always at my beck and call; ready to drop whatever he was doing and be at my side at the drop of a knut. He had this mousy brown hair that was cute in a pudding bowl shape…oh he was sooo…I suppose the only word for it would be sad. My heart just reached out to him. But he was too clingy...too needy. I couldn't have that. I'm too independent.

Next was Remus, in fifth year. I know…quite a gap. Hey I was focusing on my schoolwork…and yes I know OWL's are in fifth year…but, Oh Remus. The mysterious one. Extremely handsome, dark, full of secretes. He was hiding something from me and he was never willing to let me get close enough to find out what. I was sure I could have helped him...if he'd only let me. I think that's what attracted me to him in the first place, his mysterious air. But, alas, you can't help them all. Our dates consisted of mainly studying in the library. But let me tell you…sometimes, we were not studying… and let's just say, that between you and me…he is a fantastic kisser. But we ended it mutually. We're still friends.

And then there was Sirius at the end of fifth year: gorgeous, impulsive, brooding, passionate Sirius Black, with a family as dark as his name. Now he was one that I will always remember. He was always ready with a witty remark to keep me laughing or a quick snog to take my mind off things. But he was wounded, and it didn't last long. He always hid the pain that his family caused him, never letting it show that it bothered him. He hid it the only way he knew how...by acting out, getting the attention he so sorely desired from the girls he dated. In all fairness, I did last the longest out of all the girls that he has dated.

And the last one?

Oh no, I know what you're thinking and no...It is not Potter. Never Potter. I'd go out with the giant squid before I would go out with potter, a fact that I have stated that several times in my Hogwarts career...at least, that's what I told anyone who would listen.

But I suppose you want the truth, don't you? Ah but when you get down to it...what is the truth?

Ok...ok, so I'm evading the question and trying to get you off the subject. Leave me alone; it's a defense mechanism!

The truth is...I loathe Potter. I hate him with ever fiber of my being. Everything about him rubs me the wrong way: his robes, his hair, his eyes, his body, is talent...ok so it sounds like I'm just a lust sick girl and I need a good snog. But I, Lily Evans, will never date James Potter.

This is about the point when my friend Lela's voice pops into my head. "Who says you have to date him to snog him?"

She actually said, "shag him"...but I can change her words when I deem necessary...what! I can. And I just did.

Oh and there's that other fact that...he hates me.

Yes…I know, it's shocking. James Potter hates Lily Evans!

Is that possible? Oh snap, is the world going to end? Surely, when James Potter hates Lily Evans the apocalypse is near…

But alas-- Uh oh, my revelations must be put on hold. My _wonderful_ parents are calling ever so _sweetly_ to me to come down stairs.

And by ever so sweetly, I mean screaming their bloody lungs out. Sheesh this wedding has certainly gotten their knickers in a twist…

**July 3, 1978**

**Still My House**

**No Longer My Room, As It Has Been Commandeered By My Wonderful New In-Laws-To-Be…**

**7:30** pm

Yes, dearest diary. It is true. Vernon's parents have taken over my room. Erlack!

Oh woe is me, my life stinks. They better not do anything disgusting in my bed.

…That's it. I'm burning my sheets when they leave.

So, now that I have a disturbing mental image in my head…where did I leave off? Ah yes.

James Potter hates me.

Oops I skipped a part. I forgot the truth. You're wondering, "well he hates you, so what. You're not too fond of him are you? So it all works out in your favor, doesn't it? Good on you!"

Well, no, actually it doesn't. Since it is _my, _life we're talking about and nothing goes my way. And it doesn't work out in my favor because I, Lily Evans, am in love with James Potter...

**Oh dear! well review please!**

**and Until next time Keep a sharp Eye ;) Pupparoux**


	2. Chapter Two: In Which Lily Get's a New R

**So I just want to say I own nothing…well, nothing that has to do with Harry Potter. And I want to thank my good friend and beta-er VegaVarekai. **

_**To Vegs: thanks!**_

**Chapter Two: In Which Lily is Get's a New Room, An Invitation and Stuffed Into a Bridesmaid's Dress.**

**July 4, 1978**

**My House**

**My "New Room"**

**8:43 am**

Yes, dearest diary. I know I left you hanging there yesterday with my startling realization. But I have it on good authority that you will not go blabbing my secretes to anyone. Or else it is the flaming fires for you, and don't think for a minute that I wouldn't do it…I would.

So, since it is so liberating to _finally_ tell someone about my love of James Potter (if it could be called that), I think I will say it again. I Love James Potter!

Though I have always considered him evil…so essentially I am in love with evil? That can't be good. What does that say about me?

I don't care.

I Love James Potter!

I feel I should tell the world!

**July 4, 1978**

**My House**

**My "New Room"**

**8:55 am**

I have decided against telling the whole world about my newfound love of James Potter, for two reasons:

The Lily Evans that everyone knows and loves does not love James Potter. She never has and she never will…because she is "cool and aloof and gorgeous yet dangerous with a temper to match her beautiful, fiery hair".

…I swear dearest diary, those are not my words…they are actually Potters. They're sweet yet slightly stalkerish, aren't they? They make me feel like a "goddess divine" (…also his phrase.)

And Lily Evans will not let James Potter know. And if Lily Evans told anyone in the wizarding world that she may be in love James Potter, James Potter would somehow find out and _never_ let her live it down.

Those are my reasons and I'm sticking to them. Yes…that's exactly my point! Thank you. Everyone would think I had gone soft if I admitted that I finally have fallen for James Potter, Gryffindor Playboy/ Quidditch Captain Extraordinaire…who is _finally_ off me, it would be so ironic!

I would be chasing the boy who had been chasing me for six years…after he'd stopped chasing me! That's so incredibly sad! I'd be one of those girls in the cheesy romance novels, lusting after the boy that pays no attention to her. So she just has fantasies about him all day long, as she pines for his affections and writes every blasted thing she thinks about him in her stupid diary.

Oh dear sweet Merlin…I'm becoming the stereotypical cheesy romance girl!

I must put the quill down to keep the little dignity that I have left…

**July 4, 1978**

**My House**

**My "New Room"**

**9:15 am**

Or maybe I should just talk about something else?

Yeah! That's what I'll do. So, dearest diary. You are wondering where my wonderful parents have put me, while the Monster-In-Laws-To-Be are staying in our humble abode.

Well, let me tell you, they have not spared in the slightest for their youngest daughter. Oh no. They haven't. In fact, they haven't shelled out any money at all. They've placed me in…the cupboard under the stairs.

Yes. You read it correctly.

The Cupboard Under The Stairs.

My parents c_laim_ this cupboard is an extra bedroom, but that doesn't explain why there are mops and cleaning supplies and Christmas decorations in here! What a joke!

Who ever invented these miniature rooms is insane. They can't even hold the cleaning supplies, let alone house a person!

Oh sure, Mum took all that stuff out, and stuffed in a mattress…but this room is so tiny and there's no light. I had to use lumos and wingardum levosa my wand so I could see what I was writing.

And you should see Petty. She and Vernon think it is hilarious that my parents have stuffed me into a cupboard. Oh ha ha, Petty and Dur. Laugh it up! I only stay in this sad excuse for a room to stay away from Petty and The Dur… but they stll torment me by stomping up and down the stairs at least fifty times a day just to make the dust fall on my head.

Oh ho…if only I could hex them into next centaury. But I keep reminding myself that that kind of thinking is bad and I would be expelled from Hoggy Warty Hogwarts.

**July 4, 1978**

**My House**

**My "New Room"**

**10:30 am**

Incidentally. Have you ever noticed that Hoggy Warty Hogwarts isn't the most appetizing name? Or is that just me?

And I find it a bit strange that any school should have a song where the words include hoggy and warty. Talk about a limited vocabulary…someone was definitely lacking in the adjective department.

**July 4, 1978**

**My House**

**My "New Room"**

**10:33 am**

Though I suppose since it is a school where the students learn magic and use things like bat brains and learn how to hex the snot out of someone, Hoggy and Warty fit quite nicely.

**July 4, 1978**

**My House**

**My "New Room"**

**10:40 am**

Dearest Diary, do you have any idea how fun it is to hex the snot out of someone?

Who have I done that too, you ask? Why James Potter of course. Oh that was a fun DADA class. I may have been a little overzealous with my stunning charm…ok so maybe I did a completely different hex…I still got top marks.

Spigwit loves me.

So now—hey! I just got an owl! It's from Lela! Oh joy of joys! A message from the outside world!

But HARK! What is that I hear? Oh, it's a _lovel_y summon from my _loving_ sister…I guess you'll just have to wait, dear little letter.

Until later, dearest diary.

**July 4, 1978**

**My House**

**My "New Room"**

**6:00 pm**

Ok, so Lela is still in Italy. Stupid cow. But she does send me her loving thoughts… a lot of bloody good company those will be.

But for better news, she wants to meet me in Diagon Ally two weeks before school starts and then she wants me to stay at her house, since "your home-life sounds horrid."

She's so thoughtful! That's why I love her so!

But she also said, "you can only stay if you tell me all the stories in which you are humiliated."

Oh thank you, she's a true friend. NOT!

**July 4, 1978**

**My House**

**My "New Room"**

**9:17 pm**

Well I do have one story.

I was bodily removed from my cupboard by tyranny personified (aka my parents), thrown into the back of the car and driven seven million miles to this horrid dress shop. There, I was promptly stuffed into this hideous (and I mean gag reflex hideous) neon orange dress. It had flounces and ruffles and bows and _sequins…_you know it's bad if there are_ sequins._ Then this crazy lady with the tape measure and pins started to make the dress so tight I could scarcely breathe, or sit or walk or eat…or move at all for that matter. I think she was trying to suffocate me…probably on Petty's orders.

And Neon Orange? Who does that? Why do they even make a dress that colour! Does anyone look good in that colour?

I didn't think so.

But it clashes beautifully with my hair. I think Petty did it out of spite. But the jokes on her. Though I may look hideous in the one time wearing of the dress, she has to look at me being hideous in it for the rest of her life in her wedding photos.

Ha ha.

**July 4, 1978**

**My House**

**My "New Room"**

**Staring at my new, disgusting dress.**

**10:05 pm**

Yes, I re-read my last entry and I sound petty. I mean, the dress really is completely gross…but I really do love my sister. Really! I'm glad that she's allowed me to be in her wedding. I mean, sixteen years of sisterly affection have to count for something, don't they?

It's just that she's driving me insane. What with the wedding a mere…two weeks away! She's been torturing me. Between the dress fittings and going on diets because I need to look stick thin for her wedding and Merlin knows what. And she's been hounding our parents to get her things…like they aren't paying for her entire wedding.

I think she thinks that our parents love me better than her. But she need only look under the stairs for the answer to that question, doesn't she.

Well only 14 days until the wedding and a month and 12 days until I go to Lela's.

Cross your fingers, dearest diary.

**July 4, 1978**

**My "New Room"**

**Holding the Door shut with my foot as Dur thunders past.**

**10:07 pm**

Or…pages, since you don't have fingers.

**July 4, 1978**

**My "New Room" **

**Shaking Dust off My Pillows.**

**10:08 pm**

Can you really even cross your pages? That'd be a little difficult wouldn't it?

**July 4, 1978**

**My "New Room"**

**Lying on the Now Dust-Free Pillows.**

**10:10 pm**

Well…just wish me luck, dearest Diary. That seems easier.


	3. Chapter Three: In Which Lily Makes A Sta

**So I just want to say I own nothing…well, nothing that has to do with Harry Potter. And I want to thank my good friend and beta-er VegaVarekai. **

_**To Vegs: thanks!**_

**Chapter Three: In Which Lily Makes A Startling Realization**

**July 8,1978**

**My House**

**My "Room"**

**In Bed**

**9:21am**

As I'm sitting here, in my dark, windowless room, I was wondering something. Well, I was actually wondering a few things. And be forewarned, dearest diary; some of my musings are more profound then others…

Why am I constantly in this "room"? It's not a room…it's not even a closet! It's a cupboard. It's small. It's too dark to do anything in and it's actually day outside…not that'd I'd know, being in here.

Do we have anything to eat in the house? Would anyone be willing to make it for me?

Is anyone actually in our house besides me?

And finally and most importantly…why did I date all of Potter's friends and not Potter?

Well in answer to 1) I'm avoiding the family and family to be. And 2-4 the answer is no, no, and no.

And that brings me to question 5. Why did I date all of Potter's friends and not Potter? I bet it seems like it would be a simple answer: he was- No. IS a git. But I think you and I, dearest diary, should analyze.

Why Potter's friends? Oh sure, they were each a great person and had their own virtues and personalities that made them likeable. I mean they had to be _somewhat_ likeable…I went out with them after all.

And then there was the whole revenge thing. Where I got back at Potter for all the embarrassment he'd ever caused me over the years by dating his friends. I bet that hurt him.

How do I feel about that? The Hurting of James…I don't really know. Not bad, I suppose. Just…meh.

I wonder if any of his friendships were on the line? Did he get mad? Were there any fights because of me?

I am a scorpion woman

Let's break it down, date by date:

Now why did I date Peter? Probably because I felt sorry for him. He just seemed so small and helpless and sad, but in a cute and endearing way. I ended that, really quickly. He had too much vulnerability.

Remus, well we actually had some things in common: a love of books, intelligence, a are for people other than ourselves, not to mention he is handsome and he had that whole mysterious secret thing working for him…shame it didn't work out really. He is a sweet boy.

But Sirius. He and Potter are practically the same person. I mean, they almost look alike, they each have crazy (gorgeous) hair, they pull pranks, they pick on Slytherins, they're always in detention…

Oh.

Dear.

Sweet

Merlin…

I just realized...

I can't deal with this now! I need to find some food…

**July 8, 1978**

**My House**

**Empty Kitchen**

**At the table**

**11:23 am**

Diary…I am a trollop. I am a strumpet and I'm a horrible human being!

I know **WHY** I dated all of Potter's friends but not him.

Because put together…Peter, Remus and Sirius are everything that Potter _is. _

James is sweet and intelligent and daring and bold and beautiful and cares for others (except Slytherins…but no one likes them anyway so that can be excused), he has a certain vulnerability, a slightly bad-boy image yet not, and he sticks up for the weaker students, and he is chivalrous…

I was looking for a certain something in all of them without realizing it. And when I didn't find it, I broke it off…but that certain something I was looking for was James! The whole time…what I took for hate was in fact…love?

How could I not have seen it! I mean they say it is a _very _fine line between the two, but…

HOW could I have been _wrong_!

I'm NEVER wrong!

I may not always be right, but I'm NEVER WRONG!

**July 8, 1978**

**My House**

**Empty Kitchen**

**At the table**

**11:28 am**

I wasn't wrong…

**July 8, 1978**

**My House**

**Empty Kitchen**

**At the table**

**11:29 am**

I was simply mistaken.

**July 8, 1978**

**My House**

**Empty Kitchen**

**At the table**

**11:31 am**

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

**July 8, 1978**

**My House**

**Empty Kitchen**

**At the table**

**11:33 am**

Well now I feel bad. I was horrible to Potter. No WONDER he hates me!

I went out with every conceivable person…EXCEPT him!

And the kicker is…it was HIM I was looking for…THE ENTIRE TIME!

Ugh!

How do I get myself into these messes!

I am a disgrace to strong women everywhere! I've denied him and denied him and now…I've fallen for him!

That's it! Even though I seem to be hopelessly in love with him, I will continue to be cold towards him. I will not seem as though anything has changed between us. It is still going to be the hate/hate relationship that has existed between us for the last term.

Good. I think it's all settled. I think I shall write it all down in a list:

Remain cold toward Potter so as not to alert anyone to the change I have felt toward him.

Keep up my witty repertoire to thwart any attempts at banter he might attempt.

Make myself look even more gorgeous so that he knows what he is missing

Not date anymore of his friends

Or close acquaintances

Or boys that he knows even a bit well

I think I should just not date at all…that might work best.

Well I'm feeling rather good about this. So, I think my mind is settled. Until later Dearest Diary.

**Thanks for reading! Tell me what you think!**

**Until next time, Keep a Sharp Eye ;)**

**Pupparoux**


	4. Chapter Four: In Which Lily Meets Someon

**So I just want to say I own nothing…well, nothing that has to do with Harry Potter. And I want to thank my good friend and beta-er VegaVarekai. **

**Chapter Four: In Which Lily Meets Someone She Doesn't Expect **

**July 18, 1978**

**Getting Ready in My "Room"**

**The Crack of Dawn, 5:30 am**

So, after finally getting to sleep after an almost an all-night rehearsal dinner, I was awoken by the sweet melodious voice of my sister, screeching my name to bring her something to eat.

Something low in sodium, (No swelling)

Something that won't make her gain water weight

Something without sugar…blah, blah, blah!

So basically she wants dry toast. So I'll be making that shortly.

Oh and she wants tea.

No, she now wants coffee.

**July 18, 1978**

**The Hall**

**5:41**

No. Tea.

**July 18, 1978**

**The Hall**

**5:43**

No, no. She changed her mind again, coffee.

**July 18, 1978**

**The Hall**

**5:46**

DAMN IT PETTY! I'll just bring her both!

I can tell right now, Dearest Diary, this day is going to be hell…

**July 19, 1978**

**My "New" Room**

**1:30 am**

Am I right, or am I right?

That's correct dearest diary, I am right.

This day was Hell. Hell with a capital H! And, not even for the reasons that I originally thought!

How, I ask you HOW, did he show up at the wedding!

HMMMM? Someone? ANYONE!

What am I talking about, you ask? Who is this elusive He?

He is Potter. Stupid, wonderful, handsome James Farking Potter.

DAMN HIM!

I guess I should start from the beginning.

So I helped Petunia with the whole hair/ make up/ squeeze me into this dress sphele (even after she chucked her toast at me and yelled "NO CARBS!" She did NOT say no carbs! I can still see her eye twitching, not pretty.).

Then I got dressed as did Mum and Mrs. Dur. Then me, Mum, The Blushing Bride, and Mama Dursley piled into the car and we sped to the church, with only FIVE HOURS to spare!

AHH! Only five hours! Are we going to make it! Speed mum, SPEED!

Oh and it was raining. No, that's an understatement…it was torrential down pouring. With thunder.

And lightning.

And Hail.

Ok so there wasn't really hail. I may or may not have been exaggerating on that…ok I was exaggerating.

And did you know that it's good luck for it to rain on your wedding day? That's complete bollocks in my opinion. I mean, I would rather have a sunny wedding day…but that might just be me. I bet it's only "good luck" to comfort the bride…

Well, judging by the amount of rain that was coming down, I would hazard a guess that God, or Merlin, blesses this marriage…so—full-steam ahead.

So we got to the church and parked in the farthest part of the parking lot that it is possible to park in.

Why you ask? Well because my mother is daft and believes that the extra seventy-five feet we're going to have to run (through the rain) to get inside will do us good.

But luckily, there was a big, black, bride-sized umbrella in the car! It was huge! Massive! And it could cover up to three people comfortably! Did you notice I said three people? How many were in the car, dearest diary?

That's right. There were four people in the car. And, apparently, they all drew straws as to who was the one left out from under the umbrella. And guess what? I drew the short straw.

The short straw is bad...just as a reference.

So while Petty was huddled under the enormous rain-deflector, keeping dry and perfect, I was made to strip out of my new favorite dress (haha) and run through the rain. I had to strip down to my knickers and bra, throw on a long shirt and run through the river pouring from the sky and into the church!

Let's think about this…we have two alternative options.

1) We could have parked closer to the church

or

2) We could have made two trips from the car under the umbrella so no one would have gotten wet.

But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That makes too much sense and once again, idiocy prevailed. I love my family…but sometimes I wonder. Actually it was Mrs. No-Umbrella-For-You-Dursley who informed me that I was to run in the rain, just as Mum and Petty got out of the car. I knew she doesn't like me, but really!

So I had no choice but to run across the parking lot. By the time I got inside, my up-do was a complete soggy up-don't and my make-up was running down my face. Fan-bloody-tastic.

So I took down my hair and scrubbed off the clown face and started again. By the time I had finished we only had t-minus THREE HOURS until Zero Hour (which is to say the wedding). So all that was left to do was sit and wait.

I was sooooo bored. So Petunia sent me on a few productive trips to get her water, ice, tea…scotch. Yes it was very tense in that room. Once I couldn't take it anymore, I decided to wander around the church. People were already starting to file into the church pews. At two and a half hours before the actual wedding… What were they expecting? Was it rumored it to be a completely packed house? Were they told they wouldn't get a seat if they didn't come crazy early?

I dunno. As I walked up the aisle, checking for potential escape routes (just in case…for Petunia of course) I saw him.

Well, I thought I saw him. I couldn't actually be sure and I thought, maybe…(im)possibly my mind was playing tricks on me from a combination of boredom and lust, because I could have sworn I saw Potter. NO. It couldn't have been, I told myself. It must have been lack of food and all the tension…and maybe I was a bit snog deprived.

So I dismissed it as a ghost of my imagination and proceeded to check on Dur. He was beside himself with joy. How he was the luckiest man in England. NO! The world. A pity he would be receiving a new and …(and here he paused and looked directly at me) "interesting" sister-in-law.

Prig…looks like you can't have it all. Such is life, Dursley my friend.

And then it was time.

The entire wedding went off without a hitch, other than my hopelessly bedraggled state. It was rather sweet actually, if you'll allow me to get sentimental. Vernon and Petunia are practically made for each other: they're evenly matched in temper and goals and looks. The ceremony was also slightly hilarious with a hopewesswy wisping pwiest.

And then it was over, Ms. Petunia Evans became Mrs. Petunia Dursley and there was much rejoicing (yaaaaaaaaaay!). And then it was pictures. I was sent to retrieve something that Petty needed so urgently that the pictures couldn't be taken unless she had it…her faux diamond hair clips to hold her veil straight. And by the time I got back, I discovered that Petty had had the pictures taken without me.

Lovely. That's sisterly love at it's strongest.

Mum had them take at least one with me in it, but I think my eyes were closed. So the photographer took three more. Haha! Take that!

Onto the celebration supper!

My beef medallions were…decent. Ok they were boring. I wanted real steak! Not round little…things.

And then it was time for…the dancing.

Do you realize, dear diary, how depressing it is to be at a wedding single?

No? Let me describe.

A small wooden floor full of happily married or dating couples, dancing serenely together. They're hands held close, bodies touching, and smiles on their faces; love wafting in a cloud around them…it's completely sickening to one (namely me) who is alone and dateless.

And then it started. Some of Vernon's "wonderful" and conveniently single male cousins plopped their bottoms next to mine and struck up some conversation…or rather, what they constituted as conversation. Mainly, staring at my chest. Yep…none were exceedingly gorgeous and even if they were I do not want anyone staring intently at the space between my neck and lowest ribs. And then, they moved from staring and started hitting on me! OMG! We're family now! EW! GROSS! Not right and very, very wrong!

So as tactfully as I could, I excused myself and walked (ran/bolted/fled) from the room and headed for the terrace. I knew that they wouldn't follow me, judging by the size of their waistlines.

And it was on my way outside that I walked smack into someone very tall. I stopped (obviously), straightened, took a step back and looked up, ready to tell the idiot off (if it was one of Vernon's relatives) or apologize and mention that the cake has been laid out if it was one of my relatives.

But I completely lost my words as I looked up into the sparkling, lovely, deep, hazel eyes of James Potter. JAMES FARKING POTTER!

He looked down at me and smiled his half smile. Then he said, in that annoyingly confidant tone of his, "All right there Lily Evans?"

I think all that came out of my open gaping mouth was, "Fuhnuhganuggin."

Oh how elegant I can be. I am sure to dazzle him with my wits. So much for all that practice of witty banter I had put in.

His smile widened, and he looked me up and down. "Well, well… aren't you looking lovely in neon orange."

Oh crap. I wanted to sink into the floor, light on fire and be no more. That he should see me in this hideous dress with hopelessly disheveled hair was unthinkable.

Bugger bugger buggerem…

Yes, so I got all prideful and indignant and said, "What now Potter? Crashing weddings?"

"Oh no, Lily m'dear. I simply had to see you in this dress. I heard about its infamy and had to judge it for myself. And I must say…lovely."

I couldn't tell if he was being snarky and sarcastic, so I huffed and said...well, nothing. I just turned red. NORMALLY I would have had a very snappy comeback that would have- no doubt- put Potter in his place. But not so today.

And then, he took my hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it! My hand! His lips! His Lips TOUCHED My Hand!

And then he disappeared with a pop. Great, he passed his apparition test. Wonderful.

And then what, you ask. I just stayed out on the terrace until it was time to leave. Now I'm here, relating this, my deranged life, to you and being very confused. OH dearest Diary, I am soooo confused! If Potter… James hates me, why did he kiss my hand?

C'est magni-freakin'-fique if I do say so myself. And not in the good way.

**July 19, 1978**

**My "new" Room**

**3:30 am**

WHO TOLD POTTER ABOUT MY DRESS! I bet it was Lela! The traitor! She always goes on about how I should go out with Potter or shag him…or at the very least snog him. She wants details you see.

Fat chance, I never kiss and tell. Only to you, dearest Diary. But she doesn't know about my new change in attitude toward James…no one does or will. Not if I can help it at least.

**July 19, 1978**

**My "new" Room**

**3:37 am**

And how did he know where the wedding was?

**July 19, 1978**

**My "new" Room**

**3:43 am**

Merlin he looked gorgeous…NO! Stop it brain! That's it. It's time for bed. Good morning dearest Diary.

Keep my secrets.

I know you will.

* * *

**Until Next Time, Keep a Sharp Eye ;)**

**Pupparoux**


	5. Chapter Five: In Which Lily is Doubly Su

**So I just want to say I own nothing…well, nothing that has to do with Harry Potter. **

**Chapter Five: In Which Lily is Doubly Surprised**

**August 16, 1978**

**My Guest Room**

**Lela's House**

**3:15 pm**

I'm free! I'm finally FREE! I'm out of my house! And I'm with my best friend in the whole entire world, Lela!

We're shopping!

We're gossiping!

We're giggling!

Freedom! Sweet Freedom! No more parents nagging, no more vile monster-in-laws taking over my room (by the way, I burned my sheets…ick). No more Petty and Dur! No more cubboard under the stairs!

YES!

Well it's off to Diagon Ally tomorrow to get our school supplies. Our lists are due to arrive in the morning.

But as for now, it's quality Lily-Lela time! Break out the tea and let us be, ladies and gents! We have a lot of catching up to do!

**August 17, 1978**

**Sitting At Lela's Breakfast Table**

**Surrounded by Her Five Exceedingly Gorgeous, **

**Yet Strangely Immature Older Brothers **

**9:30 am**

OH

MY

GOD, dearest Diary!

This is the day that shall live forever in infamy!

The day in which all my hard work has FINALLY paid off! The day in which I learned that all my studying, all my training, all my enforcing of the RULES and punishing those who broke them (while getting away with some quite delicious pranks myself) have proved fruitful!

The day…I have received my Head Girl Badge.

_I_ knew it!

I _KNEW_ it!

I knew _IT!_

_YES!_

**August 17,1978**

**Lela's Breakfast Table **

**10:00 am**

Now I'm dancing on the table with Luke.

Now Lenny!

Now I've been twirled to Leo!

And dipped (quite gracefully I might add) and when I came up I'm in the arms of Lex and finally, I end in the arms of Logan!

Oh yay! Lela's brother's are so much fun! And they're all so gorgey! All blonde and blue-eyed…le sigh.

Hey! Now Lela's mum, Lexi, is up here with us! She's hugging me and twirling me around.

It's like I'm one of the family! Hey! I'd fit right in, as long as no one saw me. I mean I have the L-name. Lily. And Lela always said she wanted a sister!

How am I pulling this off, you ask dearest diary. How can I possibly write and dance with the lovely L boys on the Lennington's kitchen table? Well, simply because I am Lily and I am Amazing.

What! I am!

…

But really, I'm using a modified Quick Quotes Quill. I bewitched it to write, not what I say, but what I do. And then I had it leave spaces so I can fill in details later. Pretty ingenious, is it not?

That's why I'm head Girl, Dearest Diary.

And now Mr. Lennington is singing some strange song about us being champions…of the world? I don't know.

This is wonderful! Stupendous! Wondiferous and AMAZING!

Hmm…I wonder who the head boy is. Actually. I don't really care! Each of the L-boys, minus Mr. L, has given both my cheeks a kiss and we're floo-ing to the Leaky Cauldron to celebrate.

Fortiscue's here we come! Save some Death by Chocolate for me!

Lily the love goddess, brilliant Head Girl extraordinaire out.

**August 17,1978**

**My Room in my bed  
Lela's House**

**3:45 pm**

Dearest Diary…someone up there is having a serious laugh at my expense.

Oh sure, you're just wondering what could possibly ruin my Head Girl high, right? Well…I'll give you some clues.

Glasses

Coming up with anything yet? No. I'll continue…

Messy hair

Still nothing? C'mon, Dearest Diary! Work with me here! Do I need to spell it out for you?

I do?

FINE!

James POTTER!

It was James Potter! He was the one that ruined my Head Girl High. How? How you ask?

Well…Potter showing up and pulling out my chair at the ice cream parlor for me might do it.

Damn! Why does he have to be so chivalrous and charming! It's making it awfully hard for me to keep UP the FACILE of a sham of continuing to hate him. GRR!

But I suppose you want the story of what happened…is that right? Am I correct in assessing your needs? I know I am. You live vicariously through me and my sad, strange, mystifying life.

So it is now time for…_flashback!_

So, let me set the scene: The Lennington's and I have floo-ed to Diagon Ally and all is well. We made our way to get some much deserved and needed ice cream.

We have walked into the ice cream shop and are just about to sit down, when Potter comes out of nowhere and walks over to our table. He nods to the Lennington elders and pulls out my chair for me. He seriously just poofed from thin air-which I suppose he can actually do, the whole poofing from nowhere thing, as he can apperate…but c'mon now!-and pulled out my chair! And then he did the same thing for Mrs. L and Lela too!

The NERVE of him! So they're all giggly and goggle-eyed at this show of chivalry and blah, blah, blah…

Luckily, the L-boys are still on my side! Thank the lord for Luke, Lenny, Leo, Lex and Logan! They're all glaring at Potter with me! Yes! I have the help and assistance of five boys! Take that!

But then Potter grins at the L-boys and they smile back! NO! I've lost my back up! How did he DO that! He just disarmed my five Back-up Boys! With a grin! That's disgusting!

And Then, Mr. Lennington asks Potter if he'd like to have an ice cream with us.

Wha-? No! Please Mr. L! Anything but that! I'm begging/ pleading/groveling with my eyes, but all to no avail.

And he's sitting down! Why is he sitting down? You're doing this to torture me aren't you Potter?

Now, I'm thinking real fast. I have to appear gorgeous and aloof and calm and cool and collected and untouchable and most importantly, NOT in LOVE with James Potter. As appearing to be in love with said boy would seriously throw a wrench into the whole…hate-him-forever plan.

So I shake my head to make my hair fly about my shoulders, as I've heard that guys really like that sort of thing, and resolved to flirt with our waiter.

Well the waiter flirting is off…we have a waitr_ess_. Though, I suppose if I flirted with _her_ then Potter would catch a hint…though maybe not. And since he isn't even looking at me…

OMG!

He's flirting with the waitress!

That dog! That idiot! That…horrible, worthless, evil, loathsome little cockroach! Stupid giggly twit.

And I can't believe Potter either!

Go and flirt on, you stupid flirter!

I see how it is. I guess he really _is_ over me. He can't have moved on that easily! I should be harder to get over! Come back and pine for my affections, Potter!

So Potter and the L's are talking and talking about who knows what. Nothing important. So I'm just eating my sundae, though I must admit, it has definitely lost some of its sweetness.

I must ponder how to forget James.

And now everyone is looking at me and smiling. Do I have something on my nose? Did I dribble whipped cream on my blouse!

What people! Stop looking at me!

Mrs. L says, "Isn't it wonderful Lily?"

Um, isn't what wonderful? What is wonderful! Nothing is wonderful right now Mrs. L! You're interrupting my thought process of eradicating James Potter from My Mind!

So I just looked at her innocently and said, as grace(less)fully as possible, "Sorry. I wasn't' listening. What did you say Mrs. L?"

Logan nudged Lex and whispered something into his ear. Lex passed it on to Luke, who passed it to Lenny and then to Leo. Leo then told Lela and Lela started giggling into her milkshake. I caught what Leo'd said.

"_Too busy staring at Potter to listen."_

I was_ NOT _staring at Potter!

Oh Merlin. Was I staring at Potter!

"Well, Lily dear, James was just telling us who the Head Boy was," Mrs. L continued kindly as though I were slightly slow.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, looking at everyone around the table, except Potter. "Who? Remus Lupin I expect?"

"No," said Mr. L. He was grinning.

"Who then?" I asked.

Someone cleared his throat and I whipped my head around to look at the throat-clearer. "Me," said James, a smile on his handsome face.

And all went black.

I fainted.

I opened my eyes. I was reclined slightly in someone's arms, looking up at the ceiling. And there are people standing around me, looking down. Apparently, I'm on the floor.

Let's see, there's Lela grinning at me. Why is she still grinning! I just fainted!

This is not a grin-worthy situation Lela!

Mrs. And Mr. L are to my right…at least they're looking concerned.

And there's Luke, Leo, Lenny, Lex, and Logan.

So that rules out the Lennington family. And that means that I am in the arms of James Potter.

Damn it.

I would enjoy this so much more if I wasn't denying my feelings.

…I did not just think that.

The quickly pushed myself out of Potter's arms. And got to my feet and looked down at him (he was still on the floor).

He was looking at me with the strangest look in his hazel eyes. I don't know how to describe it. It's not something I'm used to, that's for sure.

And now I'm here, Dearest Diary, and I can't stand it! Lela is simply beside herself. The L boys are making complete arses of themselves by having swooning fits whenever they see me and falling into one another's arms. Mr. And Mrs. L smile knowingly at me whenever they see me, like they know something I don't. Like what? Do they think that I and Potter should date or something?

**August 17,1978**

**My Room in my bed  
Lela's House**

**4:00 pm**

Should Potter and I date? What would happen if we did?

I think the world might end and that might not be too good.

I'd really like to see what it would be like to go on a date and hold a civil conversation with him.

I think I should just put aside my pride and tell him how I feel.

**August 17,1978**

**My Room in my bed  
Lela's House**

**4:13 pm**

HAHAHAHAHA!

Yeah right. Like that's ever going to happen.

But I do have a plan…

More later, Dearest Diary!

**Well there you go! Review please! And thanks for reading! Until next time keep a sharp eye ;)**

**Pupparoux**


End file.
